Bitch-slapping America.

Obama has recently appointed a Golf Czar to make major rules changes in the game of golf that will become effective 01 May 2011.

This is only a preview as the complete rule book is being rewritten as we speak.

Here are a few of the changes:

Golfers with handicaps:
- below 10 will have their green fees increased by 35%.
- between 11 and 18 will see no increase in green fees.
- above 18 will get a $25 check each time they play.

The dollar amount placed in bets will be as follows:
- for handicaps below 10, an additional $10.
- between 11 and 18, no additional amount.
- above 18, you will receive the total amount in the pot even if you do not play.

The term “gimme” will be changed to  ”entitlement”  and will be used as follows:
- handicaps  below 10, no entitlements.
- handicaps from 11 to 17, entitlements for putter length putts.
- handicaps above 18, if your ball is on green, no need to putt, just pick it up.

These entitlements are intended to bring about fairness and, most importantly, equality in scoring. In addition, a Player will be limited to a maximum of one birdie or six pars in any given 18-hole round. Any excess must be given to those fellow players who have not yet scored a birdie or par. Only after all players have received a birdie or par from the player actually making the birdie or par, can that player begin to count his pars and birdies again.

The current USGA handicap system will be used for the above purposes, but the term ‘net score’ will be available only for scoring those players with handicaps of 18 and above. This is intended to ‘redistribute’ the success of winning by making sure that in every competition, the above 18 handicap players will post only ‘net score’ against every other player’s gross score.

These new Rules are intended to CHANGE the game of golf. Golf must be about Fairness. It should have nothing to do with Ability.

Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man who’s not a creep, One who’s handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long, One who thinks before he speaks, One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he’s rich and self-employed, And when I spend, won’t be annoyed.
Pull out my chair and hold my hand. Massage my feet and help me stand.
Oh send a king to make me queen. A man who loves to cook and clean.
I pray this man will love no other.. And relish visits with my mother.

A MAN’S POEM:
I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with big tits who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This doesn’t rhyme and I don’t give a shit.

I vote for stupid. I took this while in my car sitting at a red light. When I first pulled up they were next to my car, and I got a good enough look that it didn’t appear the dog was in any type of restraints, just cradled in her arms. It seems like if the dog was startled by anything (honking horn for instance) it might try to run. Maybe they drive by someone walking their dog and he decides its time to play, or a squirrel catches his eye and it must die now. It just seems like if you love your dog so much that it has to go everywhere with you, even on a motorcycle, you wouldn’t take the chance of it freaking out and ejecting while you’re doing 40 MPH. What do you think? Stupid or cool?

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I fear Favre might forever hate Brett though, thinking that his parents must love Brett more.

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